This is not applicable to The Balkanista, but I posted it here because I hope it will help some readers to understand some of the things that go through our minds as women every day. These are just off the top of my head.
- Wearing a ring on your engagement/wedding finger when you get creep-vibes from a client you are about to meet.
- Texting a friend after a night out to let her know that you made it home ok.
- Automatically pulling your skirt down or top together when passing a group of men.
- Feeling you have to explain your reproductive plans and aims to any client/employer that asks.
- Over-explaining and justifying yourself when someone questions why you have a housekeeper.
- Walking late at night with your keys between your knuckles and a constant worry that you might get jumped or attacked in some way.
- “I have a boyfriend” being one of the only almost-definite ways to get rid of unwanted attention.
- The awkwardness of fielding questions about why you aren’t married/why you don’t have kids etc
- Being told that “you will change your mind” even if you are adamant that you don’t want kids
- Feeling the need to apologise if we go out in public without makeup.
- Struggling to maintain a platonic friendship with a man because he might/someone else might take it the wrong way.
- Having to answer questions about how you manage to balance the housework/having a partner with running a business or just being successful.
- The frustration that the words “that is woman’s work” brings.
- That if you stand up for yourself against a catcaller, possible attacker, any man- they may injure you and cause. you physical harm.
- Worrying about being called needy, moody, bitchy or anything else for exhibiting traits that both genders do.
- Being constantly told what we need to improve (lips, hair, butts, bodies, boobs, makeup, waist size, legs, face, personality, temperament, attitude, ambitions)if we want to attract a man.
- Feeling like you have to explain why you are rejecting someone’s advances.
- The constant barrage of unsolicited DMs on Facebook, Instagram and any other social media platform.
- Having to smile and nod when a man tries to explain your job, opinions or life to you because if you disagree or tell him to stop you will be called “aggressive”.
- Being called a whore for being in favour of abortion and free birth control.
- Taking photos of your cab’s number plate just in case.
- Avoiding densely crowded spaces/public transport because of unwanted rubs, gropes, slaps, or other unsolicited forms of bodily contact.
- Being embarrassed because your house is not spotlessly tidy and as a woman, it is presumed to be your job.
- The fact that an average of 35% of us will suffer physical violence from an intimate partner at some point in our life. The fact that the number is much higher when it comes to economic, emotional, and psychological violence.
- The fact we are statistically likely to be blamed, not believed or not supported if we are victims of any kind of abuse.
