I lived in Malta for around ten years. An EU Member State, a member of The Commonwealth, but a country that is not short of its problems. As someone who called it home, paid tax there, contributed to society and integrated herself in the community, I felt that I had the right to comment on the good, the bad, and the ugly. Unfortunately, the prevailing attitude in this small, Mediterranean place is “if you don’t like it, go back to your own country”.
This argument is inherently flawed in many respects. Firstly, I have chosen to leave the country where my roots are and I have picked your country out of 194 other options, and secondly, the reason I choose to bitch, moan, and whine is because I actually care about it. Moving to a new place is not a decision that is taken lightly, in fact, it is one of the biggest upheavals one can choose to undertake. You remove yourself from everything that is familiar and you transport yourself into a new culture where everything from the language to the religion is different from what you previously knew. This is something that requires strength, dedication, and a giant leap of faith, and we are rewarded with a new life experience that ultimately shapes who we are and who we become.
So why do we complain? We have chosen to live in another country, we have chosen to immerse ourselves in the day-to-day challenges that arise due to being an expat, and more than anything, usually we have fallen in love with someone else’s home. Because of this, when we notice things that disrupt or affect the vision we have, we feel the need to say something. Be it pollution, corruption, human rights issues we feel the need to speak out because quite honestly, we think you and your country deserves more.
Seeing what we once loved about a place being bulldozed, sold to the highest bidder, destroyed, or pocketed by corrupt politicians is a hard pill to swallow when we have sacrificed so much to be a part of your community. As residents, taxpayers, and members of society, we have every right to voice our views and to shout about the ways we think our host country is selling itself short. For me, it comes from a place of love, not from a place of hatred, neo-colonialism, or condescension- we just want a better life for ourselves, and for you.
I left England many years ago and I would never live there again, even if my life depended on it. This is not because I have problems there, nor is it because of the problems that the country has (hello Brexit), it is more to do with the fact that I never felt that I fitted in there. My heart has always been elsewhere and when you have experienced the exhilaration of exploring and immersing yourself into new cultures and ways of life, it is very difficult to go back. I do not consider myself an English woman, I consider myself a citizen of the world- someone that absorbs a bit of every place she goes to and strives to share what she has learnt with the people she meets.
For me, there is nothing more exciting than living in a country where you are still yet to discover pretty much everything There is something almost childlike in the way that you do not understand the language, you do not know how anything works, and you can barely even cross the street without risking your life. Everything becomes a series of fascinating guesses and every day consists of wandering down new streets, absorbing new sights and smells into your very being, stopping to stare at something you have never seen before, and wondering which new places will stay in your memory for years to come. The rhythm of life in a country that is not your own is so different from what we know- I am always a foreigner and I love it.
But enough of the pontificating, what does this have to do with me being in Albania?
Several people have asked me why it is I have got involved in protests here and why I have been vociferous in my campaigning for certain causes. The answer is not because I think I know best, nor is it because I want to bring my new-fangled Western European ideas to “poor old Albania”- it is because I don’t like to see a place I love sell itself short, nor do I want to see it make the mistakes that I have seen made elsewhere.
This is why I protest when the government want to knock down a landmark historical building, this is why I organise groups to clean up the beaches, and this is why I am going to pursue issues like plastic straws/cups/bags with zealous vigor- because I care and because I know that these little changes will be a part of something bigger that one day you will all be proud of. I do not think I am better than you, or Albania, I just want to help. I know that perhaps some of my ideas may sound a little far-fetched, and I am sure there are a few people that think I am arrogant to come to YOUR country and try and change things, but as I said, this is because when I come to live somewhere and become a part of that country, I want to do my best to be a model citizen.
As an expatriate, I do not wish to move somewhere and to change it into some half-rate version of what I left behind, Instead I want to become a part of it; learn the language, meet the people, explore the history and culture- and more than anything, help it to be the best version of itself that it can be. If this rubs you up the wrong way and you feel the urge to tell me to go back to my own country, then fine, so be it. But just know that my own country is wherever I chose it to be and I will always be honest because as a guest, that is just good manners.
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