“Where are you from?”
“What are you doing here?”
As an expat living in Tirana, these are probably the two phrases I hear the most. The barista in my coffee shop, the woman I buy my burek from, the man who picks out the best qershi for me, and the sweet girl in my local supermarket, all ask me the same thing with a look of bewilderment. When I explain that I live here out of choice as a freelancer and that I love their country, first of all, their eyes roll in disbelief and then a smile creeps onto their face as they revel in the fact that a foreigner adores the country they have such a love/hate relationship with.
When I say I love Albania, it bothers me that people will just assume its because I am privileged and I am not aware of the problems that they face every day. Yes, I come from a western background, I have had the privileges of a European upbringing, and as a self-employed young woman, the fact I am self-sufficient and financially stable does mark me out as incredibly lucky, but that does not mean I should feel bad for saying “I love Albania”. Whilst I acknowledge my privilege, every day I try to give something back to someone or something in this country. I cannot feel bad for having my upbringing, and I cannot feel bad for having worked 100 hour weeks to get myself from nothing to where I am now- but I can do my best to give something back to the country that seems to have adopted me. I guess my point is, please do not just dismiss me when I say “I love your country” just because of my situation, for there are other reasons behind my declarations as well.
What many do not understand is that Europe is far from the promised land. I come from a country that is every bit as corrupt and disillusioned as Albania, with the exception that us Brits hide it well. I then lived in Malta for 10 years-a country where female anti-corruption journalists get blown up, where a corpse has more rights than a living woman, and where the government rules with an authoritarian-masquerading-as-liberal fist. Europe as a Union is a failure and it’s being besieged by populist and far-right governments, the people are unhappy and are currently in the grip of a war of words regarding where we should put the refugee’s whose homes we blew up for the sake of oil. Europe is not the answer to your problems.
I sought refuge here because what I like about Albania is what you see is what you get, it does exactly what it says on the tin. Corruption is so openly a part of everyday life, and the struggles of the people are so raw and vociferous- there is no glossing over it with the bullshit that we are so used to seeing within the EU. Do not think that EU countries are immune to the issues that you suffer from, they have them as well but they are just well hidden behind overdeveloped cityscapes and glossy PR campaigns. Yes, it’s painful, yes it’s sad, yes this country’s problems are like an open wound on a beautifully painted canvas- but that doesn’t mean that you should have no hope or desire for something better.
The thing that I dislike so much about the rest of Europe, particularly my country (that I haven’t called home for a decade) is that it has lost so much of its identity. If you go to any big city in Europe, you could be just about anywhere else. Prague, Paris, Milan, London- everywhere looks the same. There is no life, no spirit, no light, or no individuality left. All of it has been erased in a desperate attempt to modernise, to conform, and to be a part of this sought after EU dream-even the people have lost their soul and spirit. Sit on any public transport system, in any city, on any day of the week and observe the dead eyes of the drones as they go to their 9-5 job that they utterly despise. The people have lost hope- they have been dulled down with overpriced gin in mason jars, gourmet-artisan-vegan-gluten free-keto scotch eggs, and shitty electro music made by adolescent wankers with designer moustaches.
So next time you hear a foreigner say how much they love your country, don’t be so surprised. Remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side and the promises you are fed to satiate your burning desires for something more, are not all they seem to be. Maybe the reason that so many of us love your country is that we find something here and something in all of you that is so desperately missing in our own countries. You have an identity, a culture, a spirit, a fire, a history, and a passion that is so lacking in many other European states- don’t be so quick to wish it away on the basis of a politicians promise. Don’t blindly support the ramblings of a self-serving demi-god who is ready to trade the lives of refugees for a step up into the European arena. Don’t sell yourselves short and don’t let yourself be brainwashed that ticking boxes to join the EU will solve more problems than putting the same effort and money into healing this country.
Corrupt politicians come and go, social issues are resolved and new ones appear, people live and people die, but the things that make this place beautiful cannot be replaced once they are erased.
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